Most of you know that I took 2012 off from doing a P.A.C.E. Trek. I hadn’t had a year off from planning, training and doing a P.A.C.E. running adventure for 6 years and decided it was time to let my body have a break. I know in my heart I made the right choice.
As I sit here planning the P.A.C.E. Trek for 2013, I can’t help but to think about the importance of making right choices. When I plan a solo run across a state or country I have to look at many factors that would impact the run (both positively and negatively) and eventually make choices with respect to the route, lodging, daily mileage, food stops, and more. Every day we make choices and many times they are made subconsciously. However, sometimes we have a choice to make about something and it requires significant focus and thought.
Are you trying to make a choice about something right now? I want to share with you some information I read recently about making choices. Perhaps the ideas and strategies here will help you reach a final decision about something that you’ve been wrestling with.
Our brains are fairly binary. They can react very quickly when presented with two options, especially when one choice is clearly better. Stand here and drown in the rising waters, or jump onto that big rock and be safe? Easy choice.
The typical suggestion for arriving at a decision is the list of pros and cons. You make two columns on a piece of paper and write down all of the positive things that will come of making a choice in one column and all the negative things in the other. In the end, the side with the most entries wins. My daughter, Jenna, recently did this when trying to decide between two universities to attend. However, this strategy doesn’t take into account the different weight that each positive or negative might have. To counter this problem some people assign point values to each item in their list. For instance, a huge income might be worth +20 points, while a tiny risk might be only -1. This helps make a more realistic assessment of your options.
But pros and cons are not always apparent or obvious, and the whole list-making process doesn’t sit well with many people — especially impulsive, “seat-of-the-pants” people who might feel unnaturally hampered by the formality of the pro and con list. There are some other strategies for making big decisions. Not all of them work for every person or for every decision, but they all have something to offer to help you clarify your thinking and avoid “decision paralysis” while the water rises around you.
One strategy is to analyze outcomes. Working through a big decision can give us a kind of tunnel vision, where we get so focused on the immediate consequences of the decision at hand that we don’t think about the eventual outcomes we expect or desire. When making a choice, it pays to take some time to consdier the outcome you expect. Consider each option and ask the following questions:
– What is the probable outcome of this choice?
– What outcomes are highly unlikely?
– What are the likely outcomes of not choosing this one?
– What would be the outcome of doing the exact opposite?
Thinking in terms of long-term outcomes — and broadening your thinking to include negative outcomes — can help you find clarity and direction while facing your big decision.
Another strategy is known as the “Five Whys”. The Five Whys are a problem solving technique whereas when something goes wrong, you as “why” five times. By asking why something failed, over and over, you eventually get to the root cause. As you ask why it’s important to keep the questions focused inward rather than outward to irrelevant external factors.
Another strategy is one that I tend to adopt when it comes to P.A.C.E. Treks — probably because it is most in tune with my character and my desire to lean on my personal experiences. It is to follow your instincts. Research shows that people who make decisions quickly, even when lacking information, tend to be more satisfied with their decisions than people who research and carefully weigh their options. Some of this difference is simply in the lower level of stress the decision created, but much of it comes from the very way our brains work. The conscious mind can only hold between 5 and 9 distinct thoughts at any given time. That means that any complex problem with more than (on average) 7 factors is going to overflow the conscious mind’s ability to function effectively — leading to poor choices.
However, our unconscious mind is much better at juggling and working through complex problems/choices. People who “go with their gut” are actually trusting the work their unconscious mind has already done rather than second-guessing it and relying on their conscious mind’s much more limited ability to deal with complex situations.
So, what do you do if you keep second guessing yourself? There are actually five ways to stop second-guessing, or doubting, yourself when it comes to making a decision. You can also look at this list as five ways to make confident decisions!
1. Ask Yourself What Means The Most To You.
The decision that’s most in line with the things that mean the most to you will often be the best decision for you.
2. Trust Your Gut.
Trust your intuition. Look at what your intuition tells you is the “right” decision for you. Forget about all the “What ifs” and the myriad, tiny details. What is your GUT telling you? Listen to your intuition… it knows what it’s talking about.
3. It Just Doesn’t Matter.
A decision between which breakfast cereal to eat isn’t exactly a “big” decision. Sometimes it just doesn’t matter which way you go. It’s easy to get wrapped up in second guessing yourself, going round in circles and over-complicating things, when — if you get right down to it — it just doesn’t matter. Going round in circles is only going to make you dizzy, so stop it. Ask yourself this question: If your future happiness wasn’t dependent on your decision, which way would you go. Sometimes the choices we have to make simply are not make it or break it for life.
4. Have Enough Information.
Go and get the facts before you make a complex decision. By all means, weigh up the pro’s and con’s so that you can get an understanding of what’s behind a choice. But be careful — there’s a huge difference between knowing enough to make a choice, and knowing EVERYTHING to make a choice. When you feel yourself pursuing every fact or every piece of information before you make a wise decision, stop yourself. Ask: “What do I REALLY need to know to make this decision?” Then, focus your efforts on getting the best information relatively quickly, rather than pursuing all of the information you could get your hands on given a longer period of time.
5. Respect Your Doubts.
We all naturally shy away from change, and we’ve developed a whole bunch of tricks that make it easy for us to avoid making decisions and ultimately end up staying exactly where we are. That part of you is often called the “Gremlin”, and it’s the part of you that would rather avoid making decisions altogether rather than run the risk of making a bad one or screwing up. Your Gremlin is not the same thing as having doubts, which are valid concerns about a possible course of action, or reasonable concerns about what might be in store. Your doubts can help you prepare for change and get ready for what could happen. Your Gremlin is adept at feeding on your doubts and using them to get you to stay put, so knowing the difference between your Gremlin and your valid doubts helps you clarify what’s real and what’s imagined, what’s relevant and what’s irrelevant.
Yes, I had a BIG decision to make before I attempted to run across the Mojave Desert solo last spring. I tend to go with my gut, my instinct, based on my experiences in life and knowledge of myself. When my decision is going to impact the lives of others (a “ripple effect”), I tend to analyze a bit more, but still it is my gut instinct that tends to make the final call.
I hope that this information has been helpful to you, and no matter what your decision is I would suggest that you consider asking yourself a question that I tend to ask myself when I’m faced with a decision. That question is: “Which choice will bring me the most happiness, satisfaction, peace, joy and fulfillment?” Many times, your gut instinct on the heels of that question will point you right toward a particular choice — which is usually the right one. Remember, research has shown that those who go with their gut instinct tend to be most satisfied with their decisions.
If you’re wrestling with a decision to make, I hope that you can cross that decision-making finish line soon. Like any good finisher, be sure to confidently ‘lean at the tape’ and cross the finish line of your decision knowing that you did your best in getting there with the information, knowledge, thought, time and energy that you had to devote to it. Then, let your mind relax from the decision-making process and focus on contentment with the decision you’ve made.
Gotta Run,
Paul Staso
www.pacetrek.com
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